The Big Gay Mattress is Out of the Box
This year, the Lesbian Housewyfe’s theme of LGBTQ+ Pride Month is showing the world that the Big Gay Mattress will never go back in the box.
I mean, have you ever tried to get one of those biscuit mattresses back in the box? You know the ones I mean, the mattresses that come in a small cardboard box, all vacuum sealed and rolled up like a can of biscuits. You cut open that envelope and get it out of the plastic as fast as possible. The foam expands over several hours and becomes a regular-sized mattress with all of the comfort and support you need for a good night’s sleep.
Which is good because no amount of stuffing or pushing or smashing will put that big mattress back in that little box.
During this 2025 Pride Month, the current administration and their allies are trying to shove the queer population in this country back into that box.
But we say NO! We are the Big Gay Mattress and we will never be put back in that box again! We’ve rolled out and expanded, shown our usefulness, snuggled under blankets, expressed our fabulousness, and gotten glitter EVERYWHERE!
Thank you, Drag Community, for all the glitter!
Besides, the lesbians recycled that box as soon as the mattress got unwrapped. After all, Lesbian Law #2 is “Reduce, Reuse, Recycle.”
Lesbians—They get the job done!
So, how do we maintain this Big Gay Mattress?
We continue to exist in the open with all of our mundanity and glory in full view.
We show folks that we are loving and kind and forgiving and petty and dramatic and all of those things that all humans are.
We help out our neighbors and ask people for their preferred pronouns and bring our favorite dish to the community potluck.
We protect each other and provide comforting spaces to recover and relax.
We thank our straight friends and acquaintances for being our allies, for accepting and celebrating us, and for being on our side.
And, no matter how attractive or comforting they try to make it, we never agree to get back in the box.
P.S. Unfortunately, we do have to take a moment to acknowledge that sure, there are some queer folks who are actually working with this administration but maybe we can find a little pity for them. They’re just setting themselves up for the overwhelming betrayal of the Supreme Court making their marriages and then their queerness illegal. As the Nazi collaborators discovered, even their expressed loyalty to the regime didn’t keep them out of concentration camps and jails. Whoopsie-doodle!
Support your favorite Lesbian Housewyfe! Here’s a list of ways:
Leave a comment or Share this piece with your friends (FREE!)
Check out or request my book, Diary of a Lesbian Housewyfe, on your favorite library app—I love Libby! (FREE!)
Grab a copy of my first book, Diary of a Lesbian Housewyfe ($9.99)
Or get a paperback copy at Bookshop.org (or order from your favorite indie bookshop)!
Purchase a book linked from this post at Bookshop.org. I’m an affiliate and so will get a little spiff. As will your favorite indie bookshop! It’s a win-win-win!
Sign Up for a Paid Subscription and get an extra essay a month, a copy of my ebook, Lesbian Housewyfe: Bigger, Broader & More Delightful, and all sorts of new fun things as I come up with them! ($5/month or $50/year)
love, love, love this one!
Just doesn’t fit anymore