Happy “Jesus is Dead” Saturday!
Today, Jesus is dead. Tomorrow, he’ll strut out of the tomb, have a kiki with the gals in the graveyard and then let people poke him right in the holes.
But for today, he rests.
I don’t blame him. I love a Saturday off. Lying around, reading a book, watching a fun movie with my honey-bunny.
And this whole week was hard! I mean, dying isn’t easy. You need a couple of days off after being hung on a cross for DAYS. Who could blame him for napping for forty-eight hours?
Plus, everyone, even the twice-a-year Christians, will be all over him tomorrow morning. They won’t even give him time for brunch!
Doesn’t seem fair to me. Who doesn’t love Sunday brunch? Maybe he can sneak in a little something-something like a couple of those communion wafers and some grape juice. He might even transmogrify that juice into wine. What brunch is complete without a mimosa?
All those folks will crowd around saying things like “OMG! Is that you?” and “Love this new ‘out of this world’ look!” and “I haven’t seen you in for-EVER! What have you been up to?” They’ll sneak those wafers off his plate and say, “You don’t mind, do you?”
He’ll shake his head and give them that “I forgive you because I’m the Son of God” look. The girls and boys will fall over themselves trying to catch his eye, but he’s reserved all seats at the table for his twelve besties. Even though one of them—oh, Tom’s so angry!—wants proof that Jesus is really Jesus.
Good Lord!
And we’ll all stand around going “EEEEEWWWWWWW!” while he sticks his fingers in Jesus’ holes.
He’s gonna feel sooooooo embarrassed afterwards. And I’m gonna laaaaaaaaugh!
And then we’ll all go home, have a nap, and eat those Cadbury Easter Eggs that we bought for ourselves because dang! Real eggs are expensive this year! Then, Easter dinner with our legs of lamb (of God) or ham (of Mary?) and scalloped potatoes and asparagus and a really nice wine or lemonade. Perhaps carrot cake for dessert to go with the bunny theme?
But that’s all for tomorrow.
Today, celebrate “Jesus is Dead” Saturday with me. Perhaps we’ll do the crossword and then putter around, preparing for tomorrow’s feast. Bake that cake. Gather the treats for our Easter baskets. Take a walk, see a bunny hiding in the daffodils and smile.
Happy “Jesus is Dead” Saturday!
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HAA!!! So funny. This brings to mind an anecdote from my dear children's preschool days: the week before easter, some other little girl was talking about Jesus rising from the dead, and our little angels, along with a friend of theirs, apparently told her that no, Jesus was dead, and his bones were buried in the playground -- and then they proceeded to start digging to "show" her. Their own little Jesus is Dead day! (We got a call home.)
Holy Saturday Housewyfe ‼️